This journal update will be brought to you in the form of minutes taken at a meeting.

-I am back in Lexington.
-I'm attempting to join the Air Force, but am kind of worried of rejection because of my chest problem.
-I am confident that I aced my interview, thereby acquiring a job at Dink's café.
-I desire a haircut.
-I am strangely excited for the Watchmen movie. I think partly because I want to see how big of a flaming ball of shit it turns out to be.
-I really need to find an apartment. I've been looking on craigslist but...it's worrisome. Anyone want to rent a room? Do it!
-I miss a grand deal of you.

How is everyone? or anyone? Or someone?

Continued.

I spend my evenings reading cracked.com and listening to depressing acoustic songs. I am so much more of a man than I used to be.

There's maybe two pictures, and one poem, that I'm proud of in my mess of a gallery. I 'stored' a great deal of the really bad ones. I don't even know why I posted the majority. I was trying to be something I'm not. [artistic]. I want so badly to be a photographer, but I lack the key ingredient: natural talent. That's the case with the majority of my personal findings. I'm not too good at anything. Except for making coffee, and playing computer games.

Other than that, I am in trouble.

I'm not saying any of this to be all "woe is me" or what have you, it's the honest truth. Maybe if I got one of those super nice multiple hundred dollar fancycams, then I could do something.

Granted, all my current photographs were taken years ago. and I'm sure five megapixels looks even more dated now.

I wonder if taking a widescreen panoramic look at your life is a side effect of insomnia, or if it's just me.

I've spent...what? 20 and a half years of my life trying to...force myself into a niche instead of just making my own. It's ruined relationships, jobs, my social life, and I've cut a nice swath through life filling it with pained girls [and the occasional women].

Yeah, I'll be 22 this year. Yeah, that's still considered young and irresponsible. But I've never once taken an inkling of responsibility in my life, and never being satisfied with myself, ergo anything else. That's two decades of being miserable and making everyone near me miserable.

I want to be happy. Maybe not even happy, just not miserable. I want to know the wonderful people I knew before I fucked everything up.

and I want to find my niche.